I always clam up whenever anybody asks me why I signed up for the World Race: Gap Year
Of course, my first answer is that I want to spread the good news of Christ to anybody and everybody. The stuttering happens whenever people go, “Yeah but why you? What made you want to do this?” I’m pretty sure I will never have a good answer this question. Every single time without fail I go blank faced, mouth open like a fish out of water, and stutter out something that makes absolutely no sense. How am I supposed to give you an answer when I don’t know the answer myself? I love people, and I love showing them the love of Christ, but that doesn’t mean I have to go overseas to do that. I can do that walking through the produce isle at the grocery store. I can show the love of God sitting in my desk during 2nd period. So why go thousands of miles away to do that?
Whenever I was applying for the World Race, I kept looking for an “aha” moment. I spent my time praying to God, asking him to show me a sign that this was going to be the right path for me. And by sign, I mean something big, huge. I was demanding that God go big or go home. I want to see the exact words I needed to hear written in the sky, I want the tectonic plates to move in California, I want world peace as my sign to go on this mission. I didn’t want some little sign I could possibly miss, I wanted it to be clear and concise. So, I go a couple weeks doing this dance with God. I make a demand and wait and wait and wait. Nothing. I’d been watching the news, no tectonic plates had moved, and no world peace. God what are you doing? I was discouraged to say the least. There hasn’t been a sign, so I guess it isn’t what’s right for me. But then I just took a breath. I took a breath and just prayed to God. In that moment I forgot about a sign, forgot about all the questioning, and was reminded of who my God was. He knows the plans for today, tomorrow and every day after. I am his daughter, and because of that he will protect me and cheer me on. He won’t let me fall. So, I applied. Not because of some big sign or “aha” moment, but because I have a God who won’t let me fall. So even if I got rejected after the interview and couldn’t go, I know that He knows what’s best for me. And because of that truth I can feel confident taking a step of faith, even if it all might go wrong.
There are no words to describe the sense of peace I felt when I applied. All of the stress of the past weeks fell away, and I just felt content. It was like somebody moved something an inch to the left, and all of a sudden everything felt put in place. There was no nervousness, no questioning. And there has been nothing since then that rocked that sense of peace about the mission. All because of a step of faith.
So, world peace was not accomplished (bummer) but God still moved. And while I will still stutter whenever someone asks why me; when I say, “I’m not really sure what happened, it just felt really right” That is the honest truth. I might not understand, but I have a God who does, and that’s good enough for me.
“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21
All the love,
Delaney
